What a read. This book is for everyone, no matter your age, gender, job description, race, religion or socio-economic status. You will take something from this book.
‘The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a F*ck’ tells the reader that accepting mediocrity is the only way to success, and is a one-way ticket to a happy life… So here’s just a small handful of things that I took away from my reading.
This chapter sets the tone for the entire book. It’s primarily centred around how giving ‘too many f*cks‘ is bad for your mental health. Admittedly it’s a great chapter for me – or specifically me circa one year ago (or maybe even six months).
When you try too hard, you care too much, and when you care too much, it’s obvious; it’s almost unattractive. Think of it in the dating sense. A guy who cares too much just reeks of desperation and more often than not you will end up pushing him away. It’s always better to just do your best and let all the other feelings go. Rather than do your best, and over-analyse, pre-predict and dissect every single element of your given task/duty/job/relationship/whatever situation applies.
Solving problems just creates more problems.
It might sound obvious, but this book taught me that life really is just a never-ending series of problems. When you solve one problem, you create new problems. So you got your dream job, then you start to question is it everything you wanted anyway? Did you deserve it? geez that woman working in the cubicle next to you talks so loud on the phone you can’t even hear yourself think… So you finally get a boyfriend, now you question his past, his intentions, is he marriage material? Why is he bring weird with his phone? Do his parents like you? See? never. ending. problems.
The book explains that it’s all about making life full of problems you’re happy to solve, or at least that you enjoy the challenge of solving. So focus on problem minimisation, over time. Rather than trying to overhaul your life in a second. Because even when you reach that goal to lose 5 kilos, sorry to break it to you babe, it’s not going to solve much.
Everything is your choice.
This chapter is called ‘you’re always choosing‘ and I bloody love it. You can’t choose the hand that you’re dealt in life – but you can choose how you respond to it. Now I always swore I didn’t want my blog to be a huge rant. But recently I’ve noticed more than ever before (maybe because I have stopped doing it so much) that people just love to make out that their lives are so bloody hard. You can tell the author had a few problems with the idea that not everyone ‘chooses’ their life’s course – with chronic diseases, freak tragedies, and living situations. Sure, you can’t choose what circumstances are thrust upon you. But you can ALWAYS choose how you handle them. Manson uses some phrases that people often say ‘but HOW to I break up with him?’ … ‘But HOW do I exercise more?’ …. ‘But HOW do I quit my job?’
You just do it. It’s always up to you.
It’s okay to feel like sh*t – and stopping the never-ending feedback loop.
So many profanities in this blog post… but f*ck it. This one is pretty basic but I like it. Everyone feels bad, anxious, angry, worried sometimes, it’s just a fact. So instead of engaging in a continuous cycle where you say to yourself.
‘Oh god I feel worried about asking my housemate to clean the pan after she uses it‘ – then you start over-thinking it and think ‘It’s not that hard to just confront her why am I so scared‘ – then you think ‘I’m such a pussy I should be able to confront these things‘ now your worried about confronting her, worried about being worried, and altogether in a crippling ball of stress.
I didn’t explain that very well – but buy the book and you’ll understand.
Basically the best thing to do when you feel like crap is to think to yourself. Wow I feel like crap right now. And do something you like to do for a while until it passes.
Happiness is a problem – failure is the only way forward
I love this chapter cos it really digs in to all these happiness gurus that think everlasting happiness is the ultimate goal – nirvana if you will. But true happiness actually comes from a challenge, from accepting you can’t do something but realising you want it bad enough to make it happen. Freakin cool concept if you ask me.