10 Things I learned about self-love, dating and relationships from:
Textbook Romance – Zoe Foster Blake
This book is phenomenal, it is my bible. It is the only book I’ve ever purchased on ‘iBooks’ and very-likely always will be. Textbook Romance is the perfect blend of tell-it-like-it-is realist advice and comedic genius (and the little side-notes from husband and LEGEND Hamish Blake really lighten the mood). A Textbook. Way to simplify your love-life, right!? Every time I feel myself getting caught up on trivial things, or feeling a little low, unattractive or ‘fat’ (you feel me girls) I just refer back to the pages of my little pink book and somehow I land with my feet planted firmly on the ground.
In no specific order, and 100% off the top of my head…
These are the 10 major lessons I learned from Textbook Romance and practise every. single. day.
- You are a $2000 handbag – exclusive, rare and ever-so-beautiful – you do not belong to any old riff-raff and should be treated with care.
- Be an Apricot, not an Oyster – Potentially my favourite analogy I’ve ever come across in my 23 years on earth. Be an apricot, soft, sweet and amazing on the outside, but inside you are strong, hard and cannot be broken. This is not to say you are to be nasty, it just means have strong morals, that you 100% stick to, and don’t put up with crap. The guy you like will only ever see the apricot, but your strong interior will always protect you from being walked over or mistreated. Conversely you could be an oyster. You have a large barrier up around you, you’re so self-protected that you will never let any guy see that inside you are a beautiful prize… or in this case a rare and expensive pearl! This is easily the best chapter of the entire book – I have not really done it justice here so please read it!
- Never, ever, ever make the first move – sure it may work initially, or maybe even for a few years but you’ll always have that niggling feeling in the back of your mind that he didn’t ‘want’ you first.
- Men are like animals – think about the animal kingdom, when the lion chases it’s prey. Men love to ‘win,’ its an innate quality they all share. Let them ‘conquer’ you, (and no I don’t mean sexually) hold out a little for that first date, don’t text back straight away, and don’t answer every phone call – after all where’s the fun in that?!.
- If you want this to be anything more than sex, if he asks you out on the day, say no, you’re busy – even if you’re not.
- What he says, is exactly what he means. – STOP wasting your time analysing his messages. Those two ‘Y’ he put in ‘Heyy’ … sorry to break it to you but he probably just leant on the keyboard.
- Never ever cancel your other plans for a date – I know your might be so desperate to go on that date with the boy you’ve been pining over for weeks. I KNOW you’ve been waiting for this ‘all your life’ but trust me, just don’t do it. Why? Because no boy will ever cancel plans with their friends for you. It’s nothing to do with you. It’s just too hard for them. In a boys mental planner there is a big black spot where he is already busy, and nothing, not even your sweet beautiful smile is going to encourage him to go to all the effort to reschedule his plans for you.
- If in your head you say ‘He’d be perfect… if he didn’t…’ then forget it, right now. – He’s not going to change. I know I know “but people change!” you say. They don’t, not really anyway. But go on, risk it. Tell me how you go.
- It takes 13 seconds to reply to a text – Stop making up excuses for him, and stop listening to his bullshit ones. If he wanted to reply, if he really cared about getting back to you, he would. Don’t take that “sorry i’ve been at work” bullshit, and CERTAINLY don’t take that “sorry I thought I replied” crap. THIR-TEEN-SEC-ONDS, remember it.
- Beware of the self-startler – The self-startler is that guy who, seems so perfect. He is everything you ever wanted, straight away, and you didn’t even have to reign him in!? These are a dangerous breed. They will shower you with compliments and gifts and seem to never have too much of you. But trust me pretty soon, he’ll be gone.
So thankyou Zoe Foster Blake, for making romance, like a recipe.