There’s something about wearing borderline lingerie outfits that really turns me on.
Not turns me on in a push-me-on-the-bed-and-bite-my-neck kinda way, but in a this-is-as-close-as-you’re-ever-gonna-get, seedy old man drinking his second pint at Fibber McGees at 11am on a Tuesday.
I like the attention – so sue me!
Last Friday I bought a new top. A navy camisole with a lace trim sitting over where my would-be cleavage would parade itself. The almost-racerback fastens with six small white buttons and is completely sheer fashioning the same lace featured on the chest. I wore this beauty; clubbing on Saturday, to my Mum’s on Sunday and for a lunch-date with a girlfriend on Monday. Truly a top for all occasions right?
7:20am – Rise from bed
7:22am – Boil kettle
7:25am – Do make-up
7:33am – Begin what-to-wear contemplation
7:36am – Dress myself in the sisterhood of the travelling navy cami, pack back and leave.
At a highly-punctual 8am I arrived to my ‘Presentation for Broadcast’ tutorial. Strutting in looking lingerie-chic, I fired some classic gags at the tutor and class mentally scoffing at their average blazer and casual-button-up looks.
As it turns out, when you’re green-screened into a virtual news room where only the top of your torso is in the frame your top-of-all-trades actually turns you into a low class, amateur porn-star news presenter.
(PHOTO TO COME)
Oh, and I mean amateur in terms of news presenting – (not the category you sicko!)