Because if it wasn’t it would probably be behind the counter at a store while staff – who are counting down the minutes before the lunch-break they hardly deserve – search me on Facebook to tell me i’ve left my head there.
Today on a rare visit to H
arbour Town Watertown (appreciate information on why they ever changed the name) I embarked on a journey to purchase some red low-top Converse for my new job’s compulsory uniform.
Steaming into the store, I found the exact shoe -and size 6 – beaming at me with a sexy discount of $10 from the regular price of $70. With a swift slip on and off I clarified the fit and re-packed the shoes.This was shaping up perfectly.
Swanning up to the counter with a chuffed little grin I greeted the cashier with my best smile.
“Just those ones please” I said.
I pay-passed my shoes and left the store.
Floating down the escalator – effervescent and accomplished, I spotted Pure and Natural. With endorphins pumping and a lunch-dessert craving brewing, I opted to make a pit-stop for some fro-yo.
“$3.20 please” said the shop assistant. Remembering I had some change I dug in my cesspit of a clutch, through paper, receipts, loyalty cards and an empty wallet (why?), to fish out the precise coinage.
As I sat down gliding my spoon through my towering swirl of creamy frozen goodness, something didn’t feel right.
Entering the cesspit once more I realised my bank card was missing.
I checked again… and again.
DAMNIT, Why can’t I just cherish this fro-yo moment. Up the escalator I went, back to the Converse store, no success. Down the escalator i went, scanning the ground for any sign of the pink plastic Houdini.
Up, down, up, down… and again.
SURELY it can’t be at Pure and Natural, after all – I paid the ‘precise coinage’
I bit the bullet, “Hey, any chance I left a pink bank card here?”
The man looked back at me – a different shop assistant to before.
“Yes,” he said, picking up my card.
“What’s your name?”
– Firstly, OF COURSE ITS MY FUCKING CARD IF I AM ASKING FOR SPECIFICALLY A PINK BANK CARD HANDED IN 3 MINUTES AGO!