The fruit of everything good in life, begins… with a challenge.
- Why is the time wrong?
- Wait maybe it’s not wrong…
- Why didn’t my alarm go off?
- Who cares, you’re late regardless!
- I mean I’m late now anyway should I just take my time and get ready and have breakfast?
- Actually if I come in looking too well ‘put together’ it will look like such an illegitimate sleep-in.
- Maybe i’ll half get ready…
- Wow, I feel so well rested.
- I think i’ll book an appointment with Apple and try to get a new free phone because my alarm is clearly broken.
So yes, I slept in today. My 3am alarm for a 4am start, turned into a 5:57am freakout, for a 6:21am arrival. What I did learn, is a good track record for being on time really can help you out of rising waters – when your boss tells you ‘I didn’t expect you would deliberately do it so don’t worry about it.’ So all-in-all, i’ve survived. But I do feel a little crappy and guilty – and i’m staying an extra 2.5 hours.
So it’s 100% over with my on-and-off boyfriend of three years. And I mean I guess that means I’m back ‘dating.’ Why is it that people should feel like they’re either ‘in a relationship’ or ‘dating’? Why can’t you just be ‘chilling’. Well I mean… I guess you technically CAN, but nobody says it really do they?
So anyway, I went on a date last week – my third Tinder date in history. After a night of dumplings, ice-cream and maybe-too-much-wine, he asked me ‘so what are you on Tinder for?’ Now the OLD me would have said ‘I don’t really know’ …but actually meant ‘to meet the love of my life’.
But Jenna circa October 4th 2017 said ‘I don’t really know’ – and 100% meant it.
I have no idea really, I don’t want a boyfriend, nor do I want to sleep with some random from an online dating app the first night I meet him. I think all I wanted was a few laughs, a bit of male attention, and to wear my ever-successful red sundress. Safe to say I got all three!
…oh and I’m not ‘in a relationship’ or ‘dating’ I am most definitely … ‘chilling’
Apart from my Mum (who received my certificate), My Dad (who forked out tens of thousands of dollars for my education – assisted by Mum), and a couple of close friends that the topic came up with – I really haven’t publicised my university graduation. In fact, I’m not even in Perth to attend it, I’ve moved to quite literally the other side of the country and in all honesty, couldn’t be happier.
After five-and-a-half years at university, part of a psychology degree and a year of primary teaching – I graduated with a BA Journalism. It’s not like I was chained to a desk my entire degree, sleeping at the library or drinking red bull upon red bull drink. But I overcame a number of personal adversities throughout my degree, and that makes me pretty proud that I made it through to the end.
I may not have a photo in a black robe, holding a scroll that can hang on my parent’s wall forever… But what I do have is a job in a big city, full of opportunity, some incredible life experiences and the intrinsic drive to make sure my degree (and hefty student debt) plays a role in my future.
I’m also the first person in my family – and extended family – to ever receive a degree. So despite having one of the most under-the-radar graduations – It’s still pretty f****g cool.
It’s time for a monthly goals post – but first…
- Read more bulletins mistake free (I’m completely aware it really is nearly impossible not to make mistakes – but I do feel like sometimes I make silly ones. – yes, certainly not mistake free, but silly ones are slowly depleting.
- Pre-film three YouTube videos to get ahead. – I’ve put my channel on private for a while as full-time word takes it’s toll a little.
- Go on hour-long walks twice a week – the weather is really starting to warm up here now so hopefully this will be increasingly easier – yes!
- Learn how to run a shift as news editor – putting together bulletins, e-mail system, timings for finance changes – yes!
- Write at least four blog posts (not including this) before the end of the month – 25% success (so a fail)
- Get bed sheets and pillow cases dry-cleaned and pressed – gotta look after the Sheridan – Washed, probably already due for another
- Tidy and organise my fridge and pantry – Not really
- Sweep and organise the backyard – I did this, it was so amazing and therapeutic, and then all the wind blew all of the leaves back onto the paving which really annoyed me! But all in all, I did actually complete the goal.
- Wash bedsheets – may or may not have crashed into bed wearing makeup after a night out and there’s a serious crime scene on my pillow.
- Write at least 3 decent blog posts – as it seems last month’s goal of 4 was too steep.
- Do two bedroom YouTube Yoga sessions per week (now that your work colleague has given you her old yoga mat)
- Become confident at WEEKDAY afternoon editing and WEEKEND morning editing.
- Eat two or more serves of vegetables every single day – my health has really been slipping, lets just say there’s been a lot of Weet-Bix, porridge and sushi.
- Focus on more succinct, snappy writing with no word repeating – and properly sub all bulletins.
- Get back showreel and look at available casual presenting roles.
- Buy a whiteboard for bedroom for goals and to-do-lists.
- Buy a piece of artwork from the Newtown store you like to hang in your bedroom.
Once again, work is a main focus and priority, but with my journalism skills really coming along I think it’s best to keep the ball rolling. I feel stronger all the time at work and it will be good when I can conquer most shifts alone.
Another life update is that I finished shooting my showreel. I should get it back in less than one month. I’m not quite sure what happens from there but I do know I was never going to get any jobs I wanted without one.
I’m sure it’s happened to you – at least once. When that guy or girl you’ve been talking to, dating, and maybe even sleeping with – disappears without a trace. No message, no call, no form of goodbye whatsoever. Just a deafening silence and reiteration of your single status echoing in your mind. You, my beautiful friends, have been ghosted.
Believe it or not, ghosting is actually in the Oxford Dictionary –
‘The practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.’
NB: I’d like to add another facet which can often come along with the act of ghosting – the fact that they seemingly haunt your social media with their regular ‘liking’ of memes, and all-but consistent ‘active now‘ status.
I used to be the ghostee – watching men fade into the blackness after I put my best foot, leg, dress whatever it was – forward. Wondering what I did wrong. Did they find another girl? Did I have lettuce in my teeth the entire date? Was I too boisterous and insane? (probably) But whatever it was – they were gone. But recently – I have become the ghoster…
I was new to Sydney, two weeks old in fact, and I thought – well I’ve got no friends here yet and I really feel like a glass of wine (or three) and a nice meal. Yes, I guess that means I wanted a date. So I was talking to this guy – on Tinder – come on guys its 2017 there’s no shame anymore. I thought, he seemed friendly, attractive (but not so attractive that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate or feel way out of my depth) and fairly ‘normal’. Long story short, following a lengthy chat about our mutual love for dumplings and asian food and a few basic conversation topics – we ended up making a plan to meet for dinner in the city, at a nice restaurant chain called Din Tai Fung.
Let me just break down the things I didn’t like about the date so I don’t have to give you a long winded version.
- He said he knew what was good to order – giving me little-to-no input (big mistake boys, we love food)
- When I made the waiter linger for about 2.5 minutes while I irritatingly slowly picked a bottle of wine – he told me I don’t need to apologise to the waiter.
- The whole date he would talk about how things he was doing or stories he was telling me were the ‘first of many’ and how he’ll slowly reveal more about himself in time.
- Was just generally a little too presumptuous that i’d be back.
So following dessert and not even a cent spent on my behalf (making this all the worse) the date ended, on a street corner in the city, around 10:30pm on a Saturday night. I called an Uber and we awkwardly hugged goodbye.
As my butt sat down on the front passenger seat of that black Toyota Camry, I breathed an exhausted and relaxing sigh of absolute relief. I was free. I am very in tune with my feelings and emotions, and all I know is – if I can feel that happy that a date is over, it’s no longer worth my time or thought in this very brief life.
But I felt awkward… what was I going to do? This guy made it feel like he saw us with a future together, he made plans, told me his goals and scarily stared into my eyes like we were stood at the altar. But I couldn’t face it, I couldn’t blatantly reject him – especially after my facade that I had in-fact very much enjoyed myself.
So there, in that Uber on the way home, I deleted Tinder.
I have no idea if he ever spoke to me again… And I don’t even know his last name. I guess now I’m a ghost?
Have you ever ghosted someone?